As we head into 2024, I have to reflect on this year, so YES, this is going to be a typical recap post. The benefit for you, my dear Piggies, is that I barely shared anything this year so you get to travel with me lol. Before I dive too deep, let me start by giving a shout out to my boyfriend. He is the one that sparked this post as he was the one that reminded me that I'm still kicking, or a he said, "You didn't fold."
2023 wasn't as bad for me as 2022 was, and we thank God for the blessings no matter how small they may seem. However, I still struggled with a lot this year, and majority of what I was dealing with was centered around loss, both in a literal and figurative sense.
As you know, whether from reading my blog post about it or because you follow me on social media, my grandfather passed in March of this year. That grief has been shocking and a roller coaster to deal with as it's been triggered so randomly over these past few months. Grief isn't linear, so I've allowed myself space in those moments and my boyfriend has allowed me grace in the instances when my grief has fueled uncharacteristic behaviors. That grief felt crippling at times and I've not allowed it to keep me down and for that, I can proudly say, "Girl you didn't fold. That grief didn't keep you down."
Every day I feel that I'm not where I should be, that I'm a failure because I'm thirty-four and struggling. I'm not even a slave to the social media comparisons, I just look at my kidless friends and always wonder what if. Then I'll look at my Lock Screen or turn to my right and I'll see my son or the amazing man that came right when he was supposed to and I'm reminded that, my story hasn't even hit the climax yet.
Now, as I prepare to embark on one of the most important journeys to date, I can hear the words of those that love me. "You didn't fold baby." "You worked, went to school and raised RaK, all while dealing with so much and you finished." "You are an amazing mother." "D, I'm so proud of you."
I was going to run down my entire year, but as I began writing, I realized, it really doesn't matter. All that does matter is that, I made it. I managed to navigate the trials thrown at me this year and I didn't give in to the negative thoughts in their entirety. (I'm human, we are allowed to have unpleasant emotions.)
Here's to the end of my sowing season and the beginning of my reaping. I've done the work, I've learned the lessons, and now it's time to put action behind it.
Thank you to everyone that has sown a seed of positivity my way. You are appreciated, loved and valued more than you know. It's because of you all that I didn't fold.
Happy End of 2023 Piggies! Stay tuned for what's next!
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